Regrettable Addictions
by soldiersgirl23
Summary: Post book 7 epilogue.  Hermione has a secret, an addiction that she hides from everyone, but cannot bring herself to put away. One that could destroy her family and her whole life.  Work in progress.  Nominated for a Dramione Award.
1. Prologue

**While this plot is entirely of my own making, sadly the characters and settings within are not. Those marvelous and ingenious creations belong to JK Rowling, may she forgive me for what I intend to do with them.**

* * *

-Prologue-

How had it come to this? How was it that he filled her every waking thought? Longing, shame, regret, remorse, all rolled into one tight ball that buried itself deep into her chest, the pain of it all reverberating with every beat? She could barely stand to look at herself in the mirror because this time she had no excuse. This time wasn't a fall down a slippery slope…this was an intentional dive into what she knew would eventually destroy her. She knew what she wanted, but could not give up what she had. What would her friends think if they knew? Knew what she had done before? And what she longed to do again?

What would her children think, her husband think, if they knew that the person who occupied her thoughts was not one of them…but was instead…a Malfoy?


	2. Chapter 1 The Note

Sunlight streamed in through the windows of her office bathing her hair in a golden light that reflected off her softly curling hair. It wasn't real sunshine, but Hermione had given up her hope for one day getting the real thing many years ago and hence rarely looked out the window into the fake landscape that the maintenance department had worked so hard on for her. Her desk was littered with files, laws that needed to be proofed and checked before it could be submitted for signature, appeals from wizards wanting someone to look into cases for a family member who was currently incarcerated. For all that Hermione had so flippantly decried the field of Magical Law so many years ago; it was in fact where she had found her niche. It was where she made a difference in the world preventing horrible and unethical laws from finding its way into practice. But while she gave the appearance of working diligently, her mind was not on Ignatio Meinhart's pleas that his conviction for unlawfully breeding chickens to dragons be overturned.

This might have been excusable, if she had been thinking of her daughter Rose, who had just been made a prefect, or of her son Hugo, whom she knew had a quidditch match coming up that he was convinced he would not survive. Or even of her husband Ronald, who was away visiting his brother Charlie. Poor Charlie had finally lost a hand to one of those dragons he devoted himself to. Ah, well at least poor George wouldn't be the only member of the family missing a body part anymore. Instead, it was on a slightly creased piece of parchment lying just beneath Mr. Meinhart's file.

_Dearest,_

_I beg you to reconsider. We so rarely find time to see one another for more than a few stolen moments. We finally have the opportunity to spend an entire evening together. As __quaint as it sounds, I would actually like to experience waking up next to you. Should you change your mind, you know where I will be. _

_D_

She tried again to concentrate on the file, but failed. Ronald's plans had not changed, her children were away at school. Who would know if she never came home that evening? Nobody had ever noticed when she slipped away before had they? And being who she was, nobody would ever think to question her whereabouts if she should disappear. So what was holding her back? She moved to brush a lock of hair from her face and caught sight of a silver frame perched on the corner of her desk.

In it, she and Ron were smiling happily at Harry who was behind the camera, occasionally stopping to kiss one another and embrace. _Ron is what's stopping me…_she thought. It made no sense of course. How could she have betrayed her husband so many times before without burdening herself with remorse only to falter at the idea of spending the night with her lover? What was the difference between then and now?

The difference was of course, a year.


	3. Chapter 2 Mr Leimen

_Two years ago_

"Mr. Leimen, please_. Ich spreche sehr armes Deutsch. Bitte sprechen Sie auf Englisch. _I know you know how to speak English Mr. Leimen. I need to know where you were on the third of July. It is extremely important that you tell me everything you know about this case.

The man smiled at her and ignored her pleas, even when issued in his own language. "_Aber ich erzähle Sie schön Ein. Ich war zu Hause mit meiner Ehefrau. Sie bereitete unser Abendessen vor und ich las das Papier. Ich weiß, dass nichts um irgendeinen Drachen eiert. Ich habe nie sogar einen Drachen gesehen__"_

Hermione frowned with frustration and drank deeply of the pumpkin juice in front of her. She was getting nowhere. The man obviously wasn't going to speak English to her, and her German was quite frankly abysmal. She was convinced that the man was guilty of smuggling dragon eggs, but until she could communicate appropriately with him there was a very slim chance of exonerating her own client, Hagrid. Honestly, anybody who knew Hagrid should know that he wouldn't actually smuggle them. Keep them and attempt to raise them and even possibly expose children to them yes, but never smuggle them.

"Mr. Leimen, why do you insist on continuing this? The sooner you tell me what I need to know the sooner I can get out of your hair…"

"Well, by Merlin's beard…I never thought I would live to see the day when Granger wouldn't know something. Couldn't find any books on German I take it?"

Hermione's mouth hung open as she tried desperately to find words. There was no way that the voice belonged to whom she believed it did. What in the world would he be doing in Heidelberg of all places? Wasn't he supposed to be teaching at Durmstrang now? Turning her head and willing it not to be so, she was not surprised to see Draco Malfoy standing next to her table. He had aged obviously, resembling his mother more than his father with his pointed chin, his hair kept only at his shoulders rather than the longer style favored by his father. But those blue eyes could only claim to be Draco's himself. As clear as cold water and as piercing as she remembered.

"Reading and writing in German are entirely separate from speaking and listening to German. Not to mention his dialect. I don't understand his slang. What are you doing here anyway?" she asked finally giving up explaining herself, unsure why she had done so in the first place.

"In town on business," he said briefly. "I speak fluent German if you would like a translator. I have some free time, and I can see you are about to curse this poor gentleman. While I would find such a show entertaining, I don't imagine it would do much for your career."

Hermione took a deep breath and gestured for him to sit. While she didn't particularly want to take this route, neither did she want to continue playing games with Mr. Leimen. They had already been at it for far too long and Draco's assessment of her mood was more accurate than he could know.

"I thank you. If you could kindly introduce yourself to Mr. Leimen and let him know that you will be translating despite his knowledge of English, and that I would prefer he stop playing games and just answer the questions."

_"__Herr Leimen, Mein Name ist Draco Malfoy. Ich bin ein Kollege der Frau des Weasley. Ich werde als ein Übersetzer von diesem Punkt auf handeln. Selbstverständlich sollte Sie wählen, weiter wenig hilfsbereit zu sein, bin ich ängstlich ich muss warnen Sie, dass Frau Weasley ziemlich mächtig ist, und hat ein ziemlich ekelhaftes Gemüt. Deshalb wenn Sie ziemlich in etwas besonders schändlich nicht verklärt werden würden, würde ich vorschlagen, dass Sie ihre Fragen gründlich und ehrlich beantworten.__"_ Draco's eyes danced as he spoke to Mr. Leimen, and a small twist at the corners of his mouth belied his amusement as Mr. Leimen paled considerably. He gestured nervously for Hermione to ask her questions and glanced back over at Draco.

"Mr. Leimen, where were you on the night of July the Third?"

_"Ich habe Sie erzählt! Ich war zu Hause mit meiner Ehefrau. Wir haben eine kleine Mahlzeit zu Hause gehabt, haben wir eine Kartenspiele gespielt, und haben dann früh pensioniert."_ Mr. Leimen said quickly, his voice quavering slightly as though he were pleading with her.

"He says that he was at home with his wife. They had dinner and went to bed. Sounds like his wife is the most boring person on earth, or he is making it up to me," Draco laughed.

"Shut up Draco. I don't need your commentary, just the translation. "Then why is it that my client claims that he had dinner with you in Hogsmeade that evening Mr. Leimen? It is a considerable distance from here to Hogsmeade, hardly a trip one could make between courses? Would your wife be willing to give her testimony on your whereabouts?"

_"__Ich war nicht in England im Juli. Ich bin nie nach England gewesen. Vielleicht haben Sie den falschen Herrn Leimen. Ich habe einen Bruder Reinhart, der ein Exporteur ist. Er reist nach England die ganze Zeit. Und ja wäre meine Ehefrau mehr als bereit, Sie zu erzählen, dass ich zu Hause war. Wir waren in eine riesige Reihe angekommen, weil ich mit einem der hübschen Amerikaner im Dorf hinunter früheren jenen Tag flirtete. Ich neige dazu, ein kleines zu erhalten das kokett ist während der Weinefeiern. Ich kann ihm nicht helfen...__" _Mr. Leimen giggled sheepishly and Draco laughed outright.

"Hermione," he snorted. "He says he's never been to England and that you're probably looking for his brother Reinhart. Reinhart is apparently an exporter and does a lot of trade with Britain. He also says that his wife will tell you that he was home that evening. Apparently they got into a row over his drinking too much wine at one of the festivals and flirting with some strange girl."

Hermione sighed deeply and closed her eyes. "So you aren't Reinhart Leimen?" she asked not even bothering to open them. This time, Mr. Leimen chose to answer her himself in thickly accented English.

"I am Romulus Leimen," he guffawed. "Reinhart is my twin brother. He is away on business, but will be home tomorrow evening." Hermione's eyes flew open as she glared at Romulus. Draco burst into outright laughter at the thunderous look on her face.

_"__Passen Sie meinen Freund auf! Sie wird Sie in eine Ratte drehen!__"_ he laughed. Romulus quickly began drinking what was left of his krystalweissen and looking towards the exit, as though he wanted to escape but was afraid to.

"Why didn't you just answer the stupid questions in English you prat!" Hermione asked, frustration clearly showing on her face.

"Because," Romulus replied between gulps. "You are pretty. I like spending time with pretty women…." Then he dropped his glass onto the table, tossing a few Euros next to it and fleeing from the pub so fast he forgot his jacket. Hermione stared at him in confusion as he bolted. "What in the world?"

"I may," Draco chortled, "Have told him you were going to transfigure him into a rat…" Hermione looked at Draco out of the corner of her eyes and smiled slightly.

"You are incorrigible. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Quite a few actually. Do you mind if I sat here with you for a while anyway? It's been a long time since I've seen a familiar face. Or spoke in English for that matter…" Hermione hesitated, but then waved her acceptance. It had been a long day for her, and it would help to have someone fluent with German help her when it came time to pay the bill…


	4. chapter 3  Careless

_present_

"Mrs. Weasley? I was wondering if I could have just a moment of your time." Hermione was torn out of her reverie by the timid voice at the door. Of course, she really should be relieved. She had work to do, and spending her time mulling over the beginnings of her sordid affair weren't going to accomplish anything. Besides, if she were too distracted surely somebody would notice it and unanswerable questions would wind up being asked.

"Mrs. Weasley?" the voice came again. "It really is rather urgent…" The girl began to chew on her lip wondering whether or not she should leave. Hermione wasn't mean by any standards, but she could be rather curt when she was busy. And Genevieve was intimidated by her boss. She herself was not the brightest person by far, but until she had been assigned to work under Hermione Weasley, she had had no doubts in herself. She had quickly learned that Hermione demanded excellence from her staff, and Genevieve often felt left in the dust.

"I'm sorry, Genevieve, please come in." Hermione forced herself to pay attention to what the girl was saying about some bill that the minister wanted to introduce to the Daily Prophet just that afternoon, but that Hermione had held up just that morning because of ambiguous wording. She had only been in charge of the department for a year, but she had made a name for herself as unyielding in her quest to assure equality in the wizarding world. Many pieces of legislature had been turned away because of wording that could be twisted to suit those with prejudices against so called "lesser creatures".

"Tell the minister that I will not be rushed. If he is that intent on introducing it to the public, then we must be assured that it is correct and ready to be put into effect don't we? He will have the documents just as soon as I am finished with them and he will have to sit tight until then I'm afraid. And if he gives you any fuss, please remind him that if I had not taken my time with Decree 694, phoenix hunting would have been allowed. He would have found himself quickly out of a job over that one! "Genevieve nodded and ducked back out of the office, leaving Hermione slightly frustrated but glad for the pull of reality.

Stuffing the parchment back under a packet of papers and began tackling the bill that the Minister had gotten himself so worked up over. Oh no, this would never do. Some idiot had set forth a petition to name July 31st Harry Potter day and make it a national holiday. Harry would never go for this. Obviously he just wanted to live a quiet life with Ginny and their children, doing his job as an Auror. He had never been one for public attention. Penning a note quickly, Hermione folded the parchment up into an airplane and sent it whizzing to the Ministers office with her objections noted.

Harry and Ginny. They were always so happy. They had a small row now and again, but it didn't seem like they had ever had the troubles she and Ron had experienced. By mutual agreement, they told neither Harry nor Ginny about it. Ron didn't want his family to know that they were arguing. Hermione could have cared less. For all that she loved him he was still just as stubborn and pigheaded as he had always been. She was pretty darn sure that there was a filter somewhere between his brain and his mouth that needed replacing occasionally. They had worked past most of those problems by now of course. One couldn't honestly expect to be married for nearly eighteen years and not have been incredibly angry at one another a time or two. Although frankly if it weren't for the fights that they had, or his pleading not to tell Ginny what was going on, perhaps she wouldn't have found herself in the position she was in now. Things had gotten so bad, she had needed someone to vent to. Someone who wouldn't ever talk to Ron and let on that they knew how often they were fighting.

Hermione tried to shake those memories, but it was no good. It was time for lunch anyway. Picking up the files she had been working on, she handed them to Genevieve to deliver to the Minister herself and instructed the girl that she would be out of the office for the next couple hours as she had some errands to run. She was so wrapped up in her own memories that she didn't even notice the letter peeking out on her desk, the heading Dearest plainly visible.


	5. Chapter 4  The Kiss

_A year and a half ago_

_London_

Hermione was working back in London again. She had managed to clear Hagrid of the smuggling charges even though Reinhart had never returned. She expected that perhaps Romulus had warned his brother what was going on and the man fled. She could not fault him though. She would protect her own family by whatever means were necessary. She had remained in Heidelberg for nearly a week awaiting the man. Draco had been kind enough to act as her tour guide and her companion. A fact for which she was still immensely grateful. He had taught her enough German to get by, even though she was sure her accent was dreadful.

He had told her of his own family, his wife Kellandra and their son Scorpius who was the same age as her own daughter Rose. Kellandra had remained behind at Malfoy manner and Scorpius had continued to attend Hogwarts during Draco's very brief stint as a teacher at Durmstrang. It had not taken long however for Draco to realize that he was not cut out for teaching. He had served his term and was tending to some family business in Germany before heading home.

As odd as it seemed to the both of them, there was no tension between the two of them. Many of his opinions and feelings had changed after Harry saved his life. He did not like to feel beholden to the man, and felt guilt over the treatment he had dished out to him when they were boys. He had always intended to make amends with him, but as the years went by, the words became harder to find until they slipped away entirely. Settling for a comfortable silence, the two men would exchange very small talk or a nod to one another as they passed in the street, but never anything beyond that.

What was even more surprising to Hermione was that Draco took the time to apologize to her for the way that he had treated her as well. Hermione was uncomfortable and for once at a total lost for words, so she just offered up a brief smile, told him that it was water under the bridge and she had not suffered any sort of permanent psychological scarring over it. Once these talks had been finished, they settled into quite a companionable experience and a friendship, however unlikely, had been born.

Now that his business in Germany had been completed and he returned to London, they ran into one another far more often than they had previously. Hermione's work with the department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was intense and on more than one occasion she took the opportunity to speak out against the enslavement of house elves, and her efforts went quite far in this realm. Draco was one of the few people left who would still take the opportunity to mock her for her belief that house elves deserved and desired to be liberated. While Hermione thought he was an ass and subscribing to archaic beliefs, she did enjoy the debates. Ron tended to simply agree with most of what she was saying when she climbed on her soapbox simply because he either wasn't listening, or because he had learned long ago that he could never out debate his wife and it was unwise to try.

Draco and Hermione had arranged to lunch together on Fridays where they could enjoy their debates as Draco complained that his wife disliked discussing anything even remotely relevant to the world other than fashions and bloodlines, and it was enjoyable to him to have intelligent conversation, even if that conversation happened to be with Hermione Weasley, and even if it happened to take place in Muggle Restaurants where they would not likely be seen by people who might misconstrue things. Dining anywhere near Diagon Alley or even in Hogsmeade was a wretched idea since Hermione wasn't keen on running into Ron during these lunch dates. It wasn't that she was doing anything wrong, but these lunches, they were something that was hers and hers alone. She didn't want to share that with other people, and was even more disinclined to listen to what people would say about her developing friendship with Malfoy.

Truth was she wasn't keen on running into Ronald more than she had to outside of home lately. It seemed as if they began arguing the moment she walked in the door, and she wasn't even sure where it had begun. She knew that he was having a bit of trouble at work with the Joke Shop, but she had no idea what it was. He flat refused to discuss it. Instead he chose to take his anger and frustration out on her when she tried to help him with a simple spell. He had waved his wand a little too hard, again, and sent pasta flying all over the kitchen. When Hermione pointed it out to him attempting to be helpful, he had turned red, yelled something that sounded remarkably like an insult, and stormed out of the house leaving Hermione to clean up the mess by herself.

"I don't know what happened," she confessed to Draco as the sat in the booth of the small Italian restaurant. "One minute everything was okay, and the next there were tomatoes on the ceiling. He didn't even come home until this morning." Ron had previously asked her not to discuss their problems with Harry and Ginny because then he felt as if he were being ganged up on. While she had not intended on discussing her problems with Draco, it was hard to notice that her eyes were swollen from crying all night. Again. Ron's anger seemed to be becoming a reoccurring event. One that she was growing increasingly tired of.

"How many times do I have to point out that you could easily curse him until he sees the light?" Draco said, looking entirely irritated. "I've never kept my opinions of Weasley a secret. Even in school he was a reckless inconsiderate little snot. Of course I had different reasons for my dislike at the time, but the more I see you in this condition, the more I'm convinced it's a trait he never grew out of. I'm not saying I've ever been perfect, because we both know what a bloody little coward I turned out to be, but it is not right for him to be treating you this way."

Hermione kept staring at the table, trying hard to convince herself that Draco was right, and that Ron's problems were his own, and had nothing to do with her. But while she was growing increasingly angry with Ron for his outbursts and continued ill treatment, she was also growing increasingly concerned that the problem with Ron was her.

"Honestly Draco. I think maybe if I didn't try to help him so much, he wouldn't' get so angry. I know he easily feels intimidated, but I thought we had gotten past that by now. Every time I am asked to speak about house elves, or when I got a commendation at work, he seems to get just a little angrier. I think perhaps if I stop telling him my good news he'll feel a little better about himself and things will get better…" Now this quite obviously angered Draco as he slammed his fist on the table, his ice blue eyes smoldering before he looked away obviously looking for the words to express what he wanted to say.

"Damn it Hermione! You do not have to be anything other than what you are. If Weasel-bee is intimidated by your success, that's his own problem. He either needs to man up and treat you the way you deserve to be treated, or get out of the way so you can find someone who will!" Hermione stared at him, shock written all over her face. "Oh to hell with it," he said finally, pulling Hermione's face to his and crushing her lips with his. Hermione was shocked, her eyes wide open as she stared at Draco, unsure what to do. But it was nice to be kissed. It seemed like forever since Ron had last kiss her, and despite her best intentions, she closed her eyes and relaxed against Draco, parting her lips slightly and returning his kiss.


	6. Chapter 5  Ron

_Present_

Ron was exhausted. He had spent the past four days with his brother Charlie in a vain attempt to help the man after he sacrificed his hand to one of those vicious dragons he seemed to love so much. Really, the man was no better than Hagrid. Nothing that Ron said could convince Charlie that perhaps it was time to give up dragon tending before he lost his other hand too. He was already lucky that the dragon hadn't snatched his wand hand in those giant teeth. The discussion had continued, voices rising and tempers flaring until Charlie said that Ron was just jealous that he had no real talent, and had only gotten as far as he had because of who his wife and best friend were. Charlie had instantly regretted his words, knowing that they had come born out fear at his ability to continue his job and the searing pain he was beginning to experience as the pain relieving potion began to wear off. But it was too late, his words had hit too close to home for Ron. Hastily throwing his possessions into his trunk, he glared at Charlie before slamming out of the cottage.

Ron had mounted his broom and opted to fly back to London, despite the fact that it would be a two day journey. He needed time to think. Charlie had managed to voice his worst fears again. Until a little over a year ago, Ron had been working with George at the joke shop. He had let his mother convince him that George should be alone, and that it was Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, and that it should be Weasley's that ran it. Ron had put his desires to pursue a career as an Auror on hold and grudgingly went to work at the joke shop.

He had been a miserable failure. And it had made him miserable. He tried hard to fill the shoes his brother had left. For nearly eighteen years he had struggled to make a go of it in the shop, biding his time. His attempts at new merchandise had been abysmal failures. His attempts at bookkeeping had nearly run the shop into the ground. His only saving grace was that he was a pretty keen salesman. Of course nobody else in his family thought he was a failure, but as Charlie had pointed out, Ron constantly held himself against his family and friends for comparison. Perhaps life hadn't become unbearable until Hermione's career had begun to take off.

He was proud of her. He really was. And he had wanted to share with her how proud he was of her. He still couldn't believe that she loved him, had agreed to marry him and be the mother of his children. He wasn't even sure at what point his pride had begun to be tainted with jealousy. Not of another man of course, Hermione would never do that. She was very by the book. He wasn't' even sure she had ever gotten a ticket with their muggle vehicle. But it was her career that began to bother him. For every failure Ron seemed to have, Hermione knew only success.

They had fought bitterly, and he couldn't help the ugly words that had spewed out of his mouth as that green eyed monster took rise within his chest, even as he desperately wanted to snatch them out of the air and stuff them back into his mouth. He was horrified that he had put the hurt in her eyes, that he had done that to her. But instead of apologizing to her, he would only turn his back to her yet again and walk away, his remorse and his jealousy mingling into this tight ball of emotion into his chest until he thought he would explode. Even as she became distant, he couldn't help it. He knew her distance was a result of his anger, but he still couldn't bring himself to stop.

Their worst fight had been when she was given a promotion to the head of the department of Magical Law that his anger reached a boiling point. He had had a particularly trying day at work, destroying nearly half of their stock with an experiment gone wrong. And George had let his shoulders sag; seemingly unwilling to even talk to Ron, despite that his younger brother had nearly set his beloved shop on fire.

"Just go home Ron," he had said with defeat. "I'll take care of things here. Just go home."

Then Hermione had been there with her shining eyes and bright smile that started to lift his spirits, until she had shared her good news. Ron just stared at her, disgust with himself turning and twisting like so much bile in his throat until he spewed his unhappiness and self loathing at her. Watching her eyes turn from happiness to fiery anger, and finally to cool distance, he couldn't take it anymore and turned to leave muttering that they would talk when he returned from Harry's.

"I won't be here when you come back Ron. I have to go to a conference in Europe for a couple of days. We'll discuss the rest of this when I return," she had told him coldly, not wanting him to see the tears shining in her eyes. But he had. He knew he should have stayed to make amends, but he just couldn't then. He needed to get away from his beautiful successful wife long enough to stop hating her for having the success that he so desperately longed for.

Things hadn't really improved when he had returned. They still fought occasionally. It was when Hermione seemed to find reasons to avoid him avoid coming home, avoid sharing his bed that he realized that he was driving his wife away, and that if he wanted to keep her love and save his family, he would have to make some serious life changes. He talked to George about leaving the shop, and tried not to be hurt when George accepted his resignation happily and began making plans to hire a replacement. One who wouldn't destroy the shop. He talked to Harry and made arrangements to apply for a post as an Auror.

He had of course gotten the job. Now that he wasn't so miserable at work, things with Hermione had started to improve. She went through long bouts of seeming depressed about something, to periods where she was the happiest, most easy going person that he secretly wondered if his wife hadn't been possessed by a spirit. He began to work harder at their marriage, and when the children had come home from school for the summer, they had taken a much deserved vacation to the French countryside that he knew Hermione loved. She was reluctant to leave her work at first, but with the pleading of her children, she agreed to take a trip and visit some of Fleur's relatives.

Things had improved that summer. Hermione became the loving affectionate woman he remembered, and it was almost as if they hadn't had any strife between them. Despite the occasional twinge of fear that he had only been given his wonderful job because he was friends with Harry, he was able to put some of his fears behind him and relax. Hermione had gone through another small bout of distance when they returned, but Ron had chalked it up to the stress of returning to work, and was grateful when they began to reach that place of happiness and ease again. It was rare now when Hermione would get that distant look, but Ron had learned to give her space when she got like that and eventually she would perk up and tell them some story about the strange things people tried to draft into law.

Now, nearly a year later here he was. Angry with his brother for voicing fears he didn't know anyone else may have noticed. He knew that Charlie had been speaking from a place of pain and fear. Turning his broom back towards Charlie's, he thought about how his anger had almost cost him his wife, he wasn't going to let it cost him his brother. He made amends with Charlie, who seemed relieved at the chance to apologize to his little brother. Ron quickly made arrangements for a lovely witch down the lane to tend to Charlie's wounds, and tried to suppress a chuckle at the thunderstruck look in his brother's eyes whenever the young woman entered the room. It was time he went home. Hermione wasn't expecting him for another couple of days. Perhaps he would swing by her office and take her out for dinner.

**_A/N: Sorry for taking so long. My husband just left for Iraq so we were spending as much time together as we could. Enjoy this installment. This story has been nominated for an award at the Dramione Awards on Livejournal. please check them out! _**


	7. Chapter 6  Lovers

_Just over a year ago_

"Draco, I really have to leave now!" Hermione giggled as she began feeling around on the floor for her clothing. It had been 5 months, five wonderful months since that first kiss. Five months of clandestine meetings and remembering the woman of passion that she had once been. Months full of promise and the excitement of doing something that she knew was bad, and only the slightest twinges of guilt. Every time she had started to feel guilty about sneaking around with Draco, Ron let loose with another of his bitter comments and it would harden her heart even more. She deserved happiness. She deserved to be loved. She knew that now, and she wasn't about to give it up.

"Just five more minutes," he whispered into her ear before he began nuzzling her neck, his hand reaching around her naked torso in search of her breast. Hermione moaned softly and turned her head to return his kiss. She could feel her excitement beginning to build again, and if she wasn't mistaken, she could feel Draco's excitement against her thigh.

"I can't. I have to be back in the office for a meeting with the minister," she answered, pulling away from his embrace and slipping on her undergarments. Draco smirked at her, acknowledging defeat and leaned back against the pillows, enjoying the sight of her dressing. If he couldn't enjoy her again, at least he could look his fill. Hermione slipped her skirt back on and began buttoning her blouse with her nimble fingers. She moved into the bathroom and used a concealing charm to cover the love bites over the tops of her breasts. She constantly reminded Draco not to leave any marks, but she couldn't blame him for not thinking clearly in the heat of the moment.

That first kiss in the restaurant had led to a short stay in a muggle inn over the course of her lunch break. It was something that she hadn't intended on repeating, but Draco wouldn't take no for an answer. And when he turned on his charm, he was oh so hard to resist. Within the week, Draco had leased a small flat in London and had a key made up for Hermione. He would not have some sordid fling in a motel room. If they were going to do this, they were going to do it properly.

If she had even hinted that she was willing to leave Weasley and marry him, he would have sent Kellandra packing in a moments notice. There was nothing he wanted more than to install Hermione in Malfoy Manor as its mistress. And while he wasn't prone to daydreaming, he couldn't resist imagining the power couple they would be. How they would be invited to the best functions, and throw parties attended by the cream of wizarding society.

But Hermione had laughed at him when he had suggested anything of the sort. She was horribly practical, and was above all else, a realist. Despite what horrible things she was going through at home with Ronald, she would never break his heart that way. And she would never let her selfish choices affect her children. Instead of the future that Draco wanted for them, he resigned himself to the clandestine meetings at their flat every couple of days and wanted more.

He loved her. Plain and simple. He had never loved anyone other than himself before, and the feeling was heady. He loathed the thought of Hermione going home to that pompous little twit every night. On more than one occasion he had begged her not to be intimate with Ron. Being intimate with Kellandra was not an issue. She kept her own rooms, and lived her own life. When Scorpio was away at school, she could care less what her husband was doing as long as he was present to escort her to all the right parties and be seen in all the right places. Hermione had assured him that she was not intimate with anyone but him, but he still couldn't help but be jealous. He had always disliked Weasley, but it had turned into an outright loathing as he saw him as the obstacle that stood between Draco, and what he desired.

But now their trysts would have to stop for a while. It was the end of the academic year, and they would be retrieving their children from Kings Cross the next day. Draco didn't see a reason to put their relationship on hold, but Weasley and her children had talked Hermione into taking a vacation with them to France. Draco was against the idea, hating the thought of not seeing Hermione for so long, and terrified that Weasley would find a way to come between them. He wanted to be the one traveling with Hermione and the children that they would have together for long family vacations in the lush countryside.

Never mind that he had gone with her when she had traveled to Germany after her promotion. The conference had been held in Frankfurt, and Draco had taken rooms in Heidelberg so that they wouldn't be seen by her colleagues. Every moment she could get away had been spent in his arms. They had made love through the night and he had fallen into a sated slumber tangled in her arms, only to wake up to a cold bed. And he was tiring of it. He needed more.

He was thoroughly sick of sharing Hermione with Ron. But she wouldn't end it. And she wouldn't allow him to end it for her. He was far too selfish to give her up. And the Minister be damned, she wasn't going to make her meeting this afternoon. She could come up with an excuse. She was good at that. He slipped out of the bed and followed her to the bathroom where she was busy tying her hair into a neat little bun. Putting his arms around her waist, he turned her and set her on the edge of the sink, his lips fastening on hers. He silenced her protest and pushed her hands away, loving the way she melted into him. Groaning, he wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her back into the bedroom. Tomorrow she would be Mrs. Weasley. Today, she was his. And if he could figure out a way, all of her tomorrows would be his as well.

**_A/N: Okay ladies and Gents. I've got two endings in mind, but I need to know what you think before I can write the next chapter and start that path. We've reached the fork in the road. So please, use the review tool and tell me, Ron, or Draco? I'll check back in a day or so and see what you think. And for those intersted in the Dramione awards, ther eis a link on my user profile._**


	8. Chapter 7  Choices

Present

Hermione stared at the sandwich on the plate in front of her, as if it could somehow tell her what to do. She had finally reached that fork in the road, that impasse where she had to make a choice. She could no longer carry on as she had been. She knew that now. She loved both of them, in very different ways. Things with Ron had gotten comfortable again. The passion was gone, no doubt about that. She had no interest in trying to rekindle it, but that little skip her heart used to make when he walked in the room was no longer there. He could be a roommate she shared her house with, and for all intents and purposes, he was. The cooked together, ate together, shared the raising of their children and his bed but they were no longer intimate. Draco had asked her some time ago not to be intimate with Ron while they were involved, and she agreed. She wasn't the type to jump from one bed to another, even though she was having an affair with another married man.

Draco on the other hand, the passion was clearly there. She couldn't even think of him without feeling her stomach twist in knots and her pulse racing. When they saw each other at social events, she could not bring herself to look at him lest everyone around them see how much she loved him. It was unreasonable, to desire another person this much. The thought of never seeing him again, never feeling his arms around her or his soft breath upon her ear as he whispered lovely things to her, left her with a feeling of loss so deep she knew she would never be able to handle it properly.

She knew what she wanted. She wanted Draco. With every fiber of her being, she wanted Draco. But could she actually follow through? Could she leave her husband behind, destroy him like that? What about her children? How would they handle it? She knew that she would lose Harry and Ginny too. Ginny would never forgive her for hurting her brother so deeply. Harry had never quite recovered from his dislike of Draco either. They had a tolerance for each other that never extended far beyond a professional courtesy from time to time. Neither of them of course had any idea of the difficulties that they had endured the past years. Only Draco knew how deeply Ron had wounded her, but even that she knew was just a shadow of the pain she would feel if she ended things with Draco.

Never having been a particularly selfish person these things troubled her deeply. Her anxiety rose and the thought of eating the sandwich in front of her made her stomach turn uncomfortably. She nervously twisted her wedding band around her finger, her thoughts at war with herself. Her life, or her love? Could she resign herself to a life of misery or dare she strike out and seize happiness for herself? She had sacrificed so much over the years, so much for everyone else she deserved some happiness for herself didn't she?

Truthfully, she was going to hurt someone, no matter what she did. Even if she decided to stay with Ron, she would have to end things with Draco. Her conscience wouldn't allow her to continue to play both sides of the fence. Draco loved her as deeply as she did him, she knew. It hurt him deeply every time she left his arms to return home. He never pressured her, but the sadness in his eyes whenever she kissed him goodbye, how tightly he held her, each time holding her as if it was the last, told her it was as agonizing for him to let her leave as it was for her to leave.

Draco or Ron?

The right thing for everyone else, or the right thing for herself?

Spinning her ring on her finger, she reached her conclusion. There was really only one choice to make, and she had known it all along. It wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be the most difficult thing she had ever done, but it had to be done nonetheless. She couldn't keep splitting herself in two anymore. Now all she had to figure out, was how to tell him it was over.


	9. Chapter 8  Mine

_Dearest,_

We need to talk. I don't want you to think that this is your fault. As trite as this may sound, this is not about you. This is about me. Over the years that we have been married, I have changed. We have changed. We've grown apart, and I know that you know this is true. We've had our ups and downs as any normal married couple has, but ours only served to leave us growing in opposite directions. I've struggled with this decision for a very long time now and I have to tell you the truth. While I will always love you, I have not been in love with you for a very long time. I thought that I could live content at your side without that passion, but I was wrong. Please don't blame yourself for this, the blame rests with me. I never wanted to hurt you, although I fear this is what I've done. I never wanted to hurt anybody.

Please don't be afraid to love again. Don't let my choices and decisions affect your ability to open yourself up to new possibilities. I want you to be happy, and you deserve somebody who can love you strong and true. I wish that I could still be that woman, but I know in my heart I will only bring you more heartache over time. It's best to do this now, while the children are away at school. When it comes closer to the Christmas holidays, we'll hash out the details on when they will stay with me, and when they will stay with you. I'll obviously need time to set up residence. We needn't burden them with the details until it's time for them to return.

I've already removed my clothing and books from the house. I'll send you an address when I secure one where you may send the rest of my belongings. I want this to be a clean a break as possible, for both of us. I know you won't see it this way, but this is the best thing I could do for both of us. We'll both be happier people when we aren't struggling to maintain a relationship that ended many years ago. I do want you to be happy Ronald. I hope in time you'll forgive me. I know it won't be soon, or even in the near future, but someday. Someday you'll see this was the right decision. I'm only sorry that it took me so long to admit it to myself, and to you.

I know this won't make sense to you right now, but I do love you. I'm doing this because I love you, and I can't bear to hurt you anymore.

Hermione

With a sigh, she signed her name with a flourish, and folded the paper tightly. She was being a coward. She knew she was being a coward, but she just couldn't face him. She couldn't face his anger, or the horrible scene that was going to occur when he knew what she was doing. If she saw him face to face she would feel obligated to tell him that she had found somebody else. And eventually, who that somebody else was. He might convince her to stay anyway, and that would slowly kill them both as she knew in her heart that he was never going to forgive her for this, but it was time she stopped lying to herself, and to everyone around her. His heart would mend eventually, but only if she walked away now. Pouring wax over the edges of the paper, she carefully sealed it and left it on the kitchen table.

She already had her bags packed up. There wasn't much for her to take really, just her clothes, a few books that were special to her. She didn't want anything else from her life with Ron. Some pictures of her children surely, but what did she need with pots and pans? With furniture? She needed a clean break, and dragging remnants of her old life with her would surely jinx it. Taking one last look around the sweet little house that had been her home for the last twenty years, she smiled to herself, shrunk her suitcases into her purse and walked out of her home for the last time.

She apparated to a quiet alley down the street from the apartment that had been the scene of her trysts with Draco, she could barely contain her smile. She was finally doing it. She was finally freeing herself to be with him full time. Hurrying down the street, she ducked into the building and bustled up the stairs. When she entered the apartment, she found Draco already there.

The first thing he noticed was the excited flush in her cheeks, her eyes bright and gleaming. She was excited about something and he smiled at her, hoping that meant she was agreeing to stay the evening with him. He wanted nothing more than to wake up to her in the morning. Just once. It was hard enough sharing her with her family, but to have been robbed of every chance to hold her through the night, that stung the most.

"I take it you got my letter?" He asked, crossing the room and wrapping his arms around her, drawing her into his chest and inhaling the sweet scent of her hair.

"I did," she responded excitedly. "And I thought about what you've said. You're right. We deserve more than a few stolen moments."

"So you'll stay the night with me?" he beamed down at her, brushing his lips against her hair, her temple, her ear.

"I'll stay forever with you if you'll have me," she whispered back, turning her face upwards to watch his expression. "I ended it. It's over with Ronald."

Several emotions washed over his face. Disbelief, shock, and finally joy. This was more than he had dared let himself hope. A year and a half they had been sneaking around. A year and a half he'd had to share her with her husband. To know that he had her all to himself now, that he would never have to wake up a morning without her again sent his mind in a tizzy. He knew how hard a decision that was for her. He never pressured her, terrified that she would choose her family and he would lose her. But she had chosen him. She loved him enough to cast everything away to be with him. It was a heady feeling.

Slipping his hand under her chin, he pulled her face up to his and kissed her deeply, conveying the joy he felt, claiming her for himself. She returned his kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him even closer to herself.

"I'll have you Hermione, and I'll never let you go. You are mine." He whispered against her lips, and pulling her off her feet as he spun jubilantly around in a circle. "You are mine." 


End file.
